Cheapskate

My daughter wails, “Muuuuum, I don’t like silverbeet,” as she stares in horror at her dinner plate.

“Nobody does, sweetheart,” I tell her, as I avoid her icy glare, “but we eat it anyway.”

She pouts at me, “Is this going to last forever?”

“Yep.”

“This” is our new frugal menu. I’ve decided that we spend far too much money on convenience foods, fruit and vegetable that go to waste and junk. So now, we use everything in the veggie bin, make our own cookies, cakes and muesli bars, and the only breakfast cereal I’ll buy is weetbix and rolled oats. Beans, lentils and pearl barley have become staples like they should be. Cheap cuts and offal are on the shopping list. Milk is bought in powdered form and made at home for a fraction of the cost. Fast food has been eradicated and replaced with freezer meals that I made ahead specially for the nights when I just can’t get my shit together.

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It was actually pretty damn tasty – leftovers for my lunch tomorrow.

For the most part, the kids have embraced it. The truth is, they whined about the food I gave them no matter how fried and cheesy it was. I could have offered them a slab of chocolate for dinner and they would have found something to bitch about. But now, the whining has lessened, because there are no other options available and they know it.

They were reluctant about trying the sheep hearts that I found for a dollar each, but quickly decided that it was quite tasty (and fun to pretend that they were zombies eating human heart). The next evening, they both chose to add chopped up heart to their homemade pizzas. Girl-child rediscovered her love for liver, while boy-child finally decided that beans were indeed the musical fruit that I had promised them to be.

That’s how you win children over, it’s not through persistence like they tell you in parenting guides, it’s with zombies and farts.

 

 

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Making Fruit Less Healthy And The Benefits Of Sleeping With Socrates

This morning I struggled to get out of bed. It was so tempting to just sink into feeling sorry for myself and just shouting out to the kids whenever I heard them fighting. But eventually I hauled my arse off to the shower.

This morning I struggled to get out of the shower. It was so tempting to lock the door and stay under the nice warm water forever. But I forced my way out into the chilly morning air and made myself a cup of tea, sat on the couch and cuddled up under a blanket with my son.

This morning I struggled to get off the couch. My baby boy gives the best cuddles and I could have easily drifted off to sleep again. But instead I wrote myself a list of things I wanted to get done.

And I kicked its butt. I didn’t even cry once.

I worked my way through a good chunk of laundry. I sorted out my daughters toy box so that it would fit back under the bed. I cleaned an alarming amount of mold off my bedroom walls and on the bottom of my blanket chest. I rearranged the bedroom furniture so that I could fit a computer desk in there in order to get Mr. Flatmate’s computer off my dining table. I made 5 jars of delicious kiwifruit jam, 1 big jar of lemon curd and a heavenly apple and kiwifruit crumble. Then I cooked a tasty chicken curry for dinner.

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It’s called KiwiFRUIT. A kiwi is a bird and you shouldn’t make jam with them.

It’s such a relief to have a motivated day, even if it did have a slow start. I feel tired, but also accomplished. It’s going to be an early night for me tonight, so I can kick tomorrow’s arse as well.

I’ve been trying hard to pull myself out of my slump without success. However, last weekend, I spent an enlightening night with a modern-day Socrates, who is as sexy in mind as he is in body. He helped me to see things from a different perspective. I don’t have his magical way with words, so I won’t try to explain, but his outlook on life hasĀ helped and that is what matters. I’m not trying to say that I’ve had a massive breakthrough and will never be depressed again, but I’ve got somewhere practical to begin moving forward.