Instilled with inspiration from generations of tough bitches, I decided to take my destiny into my own hands. No longer was I going to wait for job opportunities to present themselves, or go begging at the doors of fully-staffed establishments. I said, fuck y’all, I’ll do it myself. To Vista Print I went, and made some attractive and eye-catching fliers. One for dog walking and pet sitting services, and one for cleaning, specialising in oven cleaning, ordered, and on their way. The oven cleaning idea was a stroke of genius from a friend who had a lot of success the same thing. I made glorious plans to market myself. I patted myself on the back, and congratulated myself for taking charge. I’m so damned good.
Then Ex rang to tell me about a job advertised on the local buy/sell Facebook page. Housekeeping four hours a week. Sounds perfect, I thought to myself. Something a little extra on top of what pet/cleaning work I can rustle up. I sent off a private message to the OP. I think almost every single mother in town applied for it.
The next day I saw an ad for ‘Part-time Gardener Wanted’. I called immediately and without thinking about what I was going to say I was presented with a machine. I left a bumbling message in which I repeated myself and mentioned that I don’t meet one of the criteria they had listed (stupid, stupid, stupid!) and promptly forgot about it.
At lunchtime, I got a message asking me to come in for an interview for the cleaning job. I was short notice, but I wasn’t doing anything interesting. I met a very nice couple, and their gorgeous little dogs, one in particular who liked me a little too much. I politely told him that i was only interested in being friends. By the time I got home, I had a message on my voicemail telling me that if I wanted it, the job was mine. I guess I interview amazingly well, because they had to cancel all the interviews for the following day. I GOT A JOB!! It’s small, but it’s a job!
Then, the phone rang. It was about the gardening job. “You sound fantastic, I need to meet you!” said an enthusiastic voice. We chatted away for a while and she spoke about how important it is to have flexible work when you’re a Mum. We discovered that her grandchild goes to Kindergarten with my son. We spoke about my daughter having special needs and that sometimes I need to be home with her. She was not in the least deterred. I’m going to see her tomorrow. Could I soon have two jobs!? I don’t want to get ahead of myself too much, but things are looking up.
And if it doesn’t pan out? I’ve got 200 fliers and 500 business cards headed my way.